Plutonium

Some stories from the teaching world...

Approximately two weeks ago, I got to the parking lot where I leave the commuter car at night (about a 10 minute walk from my apartment) only to find it missing from its parking spot. No other cars had been moved and I slapped myself across the face at least twice hoping to wake up from that nightmare. No such luck...that also happened to be the same day that I had to administer an exam to my students designed for them to fail for one of my classes . As their frustration levels grew, my patience level depleted to the point where I whimpered "Please do this exam because this morning my car was missing." If only that excuse could be used every day because man oh man did those kids work in silence after that. Turns out my "missing" car was moved for Obama's visit to U of M. Hopefully, ObamaCare can fix my subsequent heart problems from seeing an empty parking spot at 5:30 in the morning where you parked your car the night prior ;)

Another anecdote on the missing car - after finishing the exam, one of my students came up to me and asked me if I had walked to school because I didn't have my car. Oh yes dear child, I walked 80 miles just for you and still got here in time for school at 7:30. Just call me "The Flash."

Sometimes on my walk to the parking lot in the morning I wonder if people think I'm hoofing it back from some late night booty call. This thought crossed my mind as I was wearing leopard print tights and a car was following slowly behind me. What a great way to start your morning...

Is it bad when you laugh while grading papers? The following responses have been some of the best so far:
 1. When asked about determining the age of an animal from carbon dating, this student writes "Carbon dating causes things to have a reflective coating."

2. This student discussed the effectiveness of carbon dating versus uranium dating on rock by saying that "Rocks can't eat plants." (Didn't really address the question but quite the valid statement)

3. My personal favorite: there are no longer 100 centimeters in 1 meter. However there are 100 "clamimeters" in 1 meter.


I've gotten a few Valentine's Day proposals from some of the kids in my class. Upon telling one of them that I had no plans he told me I should treat myself to something nice. His idea of "nice" was taking myself out to AppleBee's... because nothing says romance like going out to eat at a restaurant chain by yourself.


Fun Fact: Plutonium is often touted as the most toxic substance known to man, yet is is 1,000 times less toxic than Botox. Tell that to Joan Rivers...